I love him but should i leave?

i have been with my boyfriend for 20months. during the relationship, despite him saying he tries his hardest to make me happy, i am really paranoid & have major trust issues with him & i constantly feel like he doesnt care about the relationship, i know most of it is because of me, my depression and bad past relationships but alot of it stems from him too. 5 months into our relationship he went to a house party he told me he was tempted to cheat on me, swapped numbers with a girl, arranged to go see her with his friends, slept in the same bed as her & spent the next day with her & jis pal, hes made me feel inadiquate to his ex a number of ways, callin me her name, paying for her to go on holiday yet telling me to pay for us both if i wanna go away which makes me feel he isnt too bothered, made an effort for her valentines day yet didnt even manage to get me a card & also i found loads of naked/underware photos of her on his old phome despite never takin one of me. I was diagnosed with aplastic anemia & the weekend inwas goin to have my treatment he was, until we argued.. going to go amsterdam the same day, it made me feel very uncared for. all these things have stripped away my confidence, i feel unattractive and like a bad person/girlfriend. He told me yday he was going away to the night with friends to stay at a house, i tokd him i was uncomfy with it considerin whAt hes done & the fact i dno hu lives there, boys, girls? and he said im controlling. i admit im so paranoid of him going out as im scared itl happen again because infeel he doesnt value me or r relationship for the reasons i stated above. i love him so much but i dont know if im hanging around for someone who doesnt really care?